Trapped

First off I'm sorry I haven't written in awhile.  Life has definitely caught up with me.  I work 10+ hours a day now and then I come home and start my second job, planning a wedding.  But on to the good stuff...

Have you ever been trapped?  I feel very trapped right now.  I am in a good place when it comes to my relationship with my soon to be hubbie, but the rest of my life is nuts!  I changed careers about two years ago.  I was in a job where I wasn't moving up.  I had been with this company for a very long time and I was being passed up for promotions left and right.  Now looking back I think it was because my boss at that time was very nervous she would get replaced with a younger version.  I get it I do, but that would have been years down the road.  I got a new great opportunity and took it.  However, here I sit not even two years later and I am miserable!  I mean miserable folks.  I think corporate life is killing me.  I want to be free.  Not sure what I want to do or what will make me happy.  Actually scratch that I know...I would love to be a builder.  Yup, a home builder.  I worked in real estate prior to my job now.  I actually love real estate, it was just all the bullshit I didn't like.  Home builders are typically men and let's be real men don't think about the things women think about.

My love and I started looking for a new house.  We found a new neighborhood that had two builders to choose from.  We look at one and his houses were amazing, however he wasted so much space.  The house was over 3200 sqft.  That's a pretty good size house.  However the living room was so small that our couch and recliner would barely fit.  As we went from room to room I realized where all the space was.  Don't get my wrong I love my big closets as much as the next girl, however I don't need it to be a spare room, unless I have a 7000 sqft house!  There were all these cubbie holes.  What am I going to hide in there a little person? Men don't think about the important things in a home.  For instance I want a huge pantry and a lot of houses don't have that.  I want a huge laundry room, don't make it where I can barely walk in and open the door to the washer or dryer.  If I have to do the laundry then make it big enough for me to stand in and work in.  Bathrooms are another thing.  We looked at a house where the linen closet (which wasn't big) door opened up and hit the shower door.  Are you serious?

I think it's my calling to be a badass woman home builder!  I need something to get me out of this sexist world I work in now.  I know most builders are men, but it's not an industry that focuses on that.  I am currently in an industry that makes it difficult for woman to work.  They see a woman having a family as a weakness and that's messed up.  I'm sick of feeling I can't accomplish anything.  I'm sick of being someone's bitch day in and day out.  I know most people feel that way, but it's really starting to get to me.  I want to take a risk.  I've never been a risk taker and I want to be one! I don't want to be trapped!  I want to be F.R.E.E., free falling!  :) Thankfully my boy is supportive and is willing to let me do what I need, probably because he is sick of listening to me complain everyday!! Poor guy!

So, what do you think?  Take a risk?